Today I have a story to tell, but this story is not my own nor is it about me. This story is about two little girls and a God who strong enough to move mountains, a God whose love has proven to be deeper than the ocean.
I have sat down and tried to write this blog numerous times, but the words were not flowing. I couldn’t think of how to type or put into words this story of my heart and two little girls I was called to foster.
So bare with me as this is my best attempt try and put into words a story God is continuing to redeem and make new.
This is the story of us
April 15th, 2016
I got a call saying two little girls ages 2 and 4 were on their way to the ministry, that their parents could not care for them, and there was a suspicion of domestic violence.
As the silver truck pulled up in front of my house the lawyer of child services began to step out of the truck with a little girl clinging to him as if he was her last hope, and the other slowly getting out of the truck. Her long black hair covered half of her face as she slowly observed her new surroundings. My heart immediately skipped a beat as he handed over the littlest of the two girls. As I held her in my arms I immediately fell in love.
Their first day with me
May 15th, 2016
They were within my care for a month, and within this month I fell hard for them. Child Services eventually called and said they were going to put them back with their mother. The day they left I was on my way back from the states, hoping and praying I would arrive before they left. I had bought them both princess dresses, and as soon as I arrived I packed their bags, put their dresses on, and held them tight. As I was not really sure where they would be going. I remember feeling as if my heart was shattered to pieces when that silver truck once again pulled up in front of my house. I found myself in a place of doubt, in a place of desperately searching for God’s goodness. We found out that they were placed in a local orphanage until their mom came to get them.
visiting them at the orphanage
June 1st, 2016
At around 8pm a blue car pulls up in front of my house, as I quickly stop what I am doing I walk outside to see what is going on. Out come the girls, in the blue and pink princess dresses I bought them before they left. They were wet, shivering, and had their hair in tangles. I run outside with tears streaming down my face, pick them up and immediately bring them inside. Child services began to explain that the mom had abandoned them once again and their dad had been found drunk with them in Central Park.
The night they arrived
I remember feeling as if I was outside of my own body.
The closer I looked at them I saw the little one had a black eye, and her older sister was shaking. The psychologist explained they would only be here until they could find a permanent place for them to live. Child services quickly left and I was alone with the girls. The youngest only whispered for 2 weeks, talking so quietly you had to ask her to whisper in your ear, the oldest recounting stories of the things they went through while they were gone. I was shaken to the core.
Almost a month later I get a call saying an Aunt has been found and the girls will be going to live with her. That this would be a permanent and safe home for them.
About a week later they were gone.
August 17th, 2016
We get a call saying that the Aunt had abandoned the girls and they needed a place to stay. We said yes with the intention of finding a permanent home for them outside of Legacy of Hope.
birthdays, babies, battling sickness, and learning how to love
December 24th, 2016
I try and make sense of this story, how God has brought them back to me. That every opportunity they had to leave God has kept them here. I wrestled back and forth with the thought of being their Foster Mom. Loving them fearlessly, allowing the word “mommy” to come out of their mouth, I struggled with knowing I was “too attached”.
This past November I knew God was calling me to move out of Centro de Paso (emergency crisis care center) with the girls into a different house within the ministry. That He was calling me to love them like He loves me. I have chosen to love fearlessly in the midst of turmoil and uncertainty; I have chosen to be their Foster Mom.
We have moved out and God continues proving His goodness to be true as He continues writing the story of us.